Wow, yesterday was a loooong day. It was filled with lots of poop, nap deprived wild toddlers, food thrown everywhere, and hours at Children's Hospital. We had post-op appointments and lots of lab work.
Our first appointment was at 10am with the boys GI specialist. We arrived about 15 minutes late because getting the boys anywhere on time is virtually impossible. Here is a visual image of the walking chaos:
Me -carrying two lunch boxes because all of the food would not fit into one box, a diaper bag full and barely zipped, and my purse all-the-while bent down trying to hold the hands of two toddlers that have other ideas.
Asher - mommy dragging him on the elevator while he is throwing a fit because he hates elevators.
Cache - refusing to hold my hand because he is soooo over that and is way too big and throwing himself on the floor yelling NO, NO, NO.
Ok, so we finally make it to the first appointment with our GI doctor. Great report except the doctor wants poop and blood samples from both boys. Why? I am not sure, maybe he is obsessed with poop since that is his speciality?!? So, the nurse hands me ANOTHER large bag full of cups, gloves, poop scoops and other stuff each labeled for Asher and Cache. She tells me that I can "just bring the samples back tomorrow." Really?? Tomorrow? Is she crazy? They want me to get these little monsters (I say that in the most loving way) back in the car and drive 30 minutes to drop off poop. I don't think so. I start praying that the boys will poop before we leave. Be very careful what you pray for........
On to the next appointment. Remember the visual of us walking? Now add another bag and a stack of papers along with two pissed off toddlers because it is nap time. We have to get back on the elevator and go down one floor. Cue Asher and Cache screaming NO! because they hate elevators. We get off the elevator and I can't find the freaking office. All the doctors at Children's moved into a new building last month and the signs are not up yet. Cache sits down in the middle of floor and refuses to walk or let me carry him. At my wits end, I walked off and left him there. Now, I could see him the entire time, but he could not see me. He FREAKED out and got up and ran after me. We get to the right office and we are 15 minutes late of course. Seriously, we had to go down one floor and it took us 30 minutes. At this office, they thank God had toys and books for the boys.
I am trying to relax my shoulders and wipe the sweat off my neck and hair and I smell it. The most rancid, foul, stomach curdling smell known to man. Asher blew out his diaper. Remember - we use cloth diapers. I wearily look at the cute receptionist that is about 20 and ask her to watch Cache. She graciously says yes and picks Cache up and puts him on her hip - he is instantly in love with her. I left our bags and took Asher to the bathroom to assess the damage. He had poop up his back, down his legs, IT WAS EVERYWHERE!!!!! Thankfully the GI nurse put gloves in the poop sample bag. I tried to clean him up with the wipes, but it was just smearing it. He got a handful and rubbed it on his belly and it got all over his socks. I had to throw away his socks. So, I stripped him down and put him in the bathroom sink. I get him clean and clothed and start putting the poop into the four containers. I scrubbed the diaper and cover in the toilet and put them into our bag. This event took us 30 minutes.
Asher and I go back to the waiting area and Cache is so in love with the receptionist that he will not come back to me and play with Asher and the toys. At this point, I was totally ok with that. I let her keep him. The nurse comes out to get us and Cache throws a fit because he has to walk. He thinks his place in life is on any woman's hip. We get into the room and the boys are playing with tongue depressors and I smell it again! I can't tell you the thoughts that ran through my head......
Cache blew out his diaper. It was everywhere, down his leg, up his back. One positive aspect of this is I won't have to drive back to OKC to deliver the poop. I get our diaper bag and the specimen cups ready and start changing Cache's diaper. In the mean time, Asher is pulling out everything from all of the cabinets and drawers in the office. I am up to my elbows in poop, so what Asher is doing is not a high priority because he is not hurting himself or turning on any machines. The PA walks in and is not happy with what she sees. She says, "there is stuff everywhere!" I just looked at her. I took a deep breath and said, "yes, I know. I apologize for that, but there are no toys in here. We have been here since 10 am (it is 2pm) and the boys and I are not in a good place right now. They are exhausted. This is the second time today I have been up to my elbows in sh%* and I am doing the best I can right now." She looked at me and said, "take your time. I will check on another patient and will be back when you are ready." I got Cache cleaned up and all the specimen cups filled. The room stunk so bad but we got a great report.
Now, we have to get back on the elevator and go up to make our delivery. By now, you should have a good idea of what happened next. Yes, it took us 30 minutes. When I get to the GI office, there isn't a person in sight. I called the office, no answer. I finally yelled HELLO!!!!!!! A very perturbed receptionist came out and said, "yes, can I help you?" in a snippy tone. I said, "yes you can. Here is a bag of poop" and left.
On to draw blood. We have to go down four floors, so back on the elevator. It took 20 minutes. We get to the lab and there is a long line. At this point, we had almost exhausted our food supply and all three of us are spent. I think the lab tech took pity on me and she got us in fairly quickly. She picked up Cache and carried him for me. Amazingly, blood drawing process when smoothly. Cache was so funny, he would look down at his bandage and would fake cry. Asher was on to pulling things off shelves so he really didn't care about his bandage.
Finally! We were done! It was only 4pm. We got on the elevator and went to the car. I can honestly say I have never been such a wreck in my life. The entire day was a mess, but we got it done. Today, we are taking it easy and not going ANYWHERE!
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